mmm not quite kidiots. i arose to the rough and tumble jungle noises of bedstuy. my head is bangin! there's screaming two floors down, im BURNING UP; lately it's definitely been 'Do the Right Thing' weather ("MOOKIEEEE!") so i throw on some flip flops with the morning breath and i flop my xss to the top of the 2nd floor staircase...THIS SCRAWNY XSS PATOIS SPEAKING JUNGLEBUNNY gonna be beating this woman the size of a quarterback and for a minute i thought she was beating him:
- she's pregnant
- she's wearing a t shirt, underwear and socks
- IT'S 12:36 PM ON A SUMMER DAY; hell nooooo i wasn't awake yet
so i tell him to shut the fxck up cuz i was trying to sleep, psssht he can't beat me.it'll be a whole lot of 'eat the cake anna mae' in this bxtch if he tried. i take the girl up to my apartment and immediately start searching for any clothes that might fit her. think of the scene from Superbad when seth asks evan if he has anything bigger or just shops at the baby GAP (LOL) eventually i find her some sweats and a tshirt...then the task of shoes !!! i wear a big kids size 3 1/2 but luckily there was a pile of old stuff and some perfectly fine new balance size 9 1/2. we spoke briefly and i told her straight up that her man ain't shxt but a hxe with a dxck so she needs to get it together. ladies please don't ever let a man beat you, if he decides to get loud one day ask him if he's hungry and put on some grits...Al Green his xss!
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